Beautiful blondes and hipsters with glasses of pasta also go to online dating sites to find a good Christian couple.
Christian marriage is very demanding, Christian courtship too, in a number of countries there is a shortage of young Christians (especially men) and at certain ages it is difficult to find a partner to take on this radical way of life.
If a Christian is clear that he wants to marry another Christian, you can find your soulmate where there are Christians in parishes, associations, movements, pilgrimages…But if we are unable to find from these places, it can be good to go to the sites for Online Dating, and specifically to Christian dating sites.
A 2010 study quoted in Daniel Slater’s book “Love in the Time of Algorithms” says that in the US20% of “committed relationships” begin on the Internet. In other countries it may be different, but 5 years have passed since the study and the Network has grown a lot.
One advantage to black single chat is that they attract people who want to get married in the short or medium term, not people who want undefined and endless dating.
A disadvantage is that along with wonderful and mature people, online dating sites can encounter very rare, emotionally harmful people or directly sexual or emotional predators: they go there looking for vulnerable victims.
That’s why online dating sites provide a number of security tips, and Christian sites also add basic spiritual advice. We review some of the most common.
1- Pray: consultation with God
Maybe God does not want you to marry and is calling you to another vocation. There are those who go to online dating sites looking for a couple as Jonah was looking for a ship to Tarsis, fleeing from what God asks. That is not wise and will end badly. Praying also serves throughout the process, to guide you in dealing with people online, selecting profiles, etc…
2- Explore before outside the Internet
Before going to the Internet the wisest thing is to look for a partner in environment close (parish, associative, brotherhoods, etc …)not digital, neighborhood or city. In principle it is advantageous that a future engagement develops in a geographically close and known area. The Internet is the resource for when this possibility has already shown by the practical route little effectiveness.
3 – Your profile: smile in the photo
It seems silly, but many people upload inappropriate photos to your profile on the dating website. The photo is 80% of what you are interested in, in a first impression that you are looking for a partner . The key is to smile. Hardly anyone is physically so attractive as to appeal to people if they do not smile. And almost nobody is so unappreciated as to make your smile hurt (if you have bad teeth, smile with your mouth closed). Not even the most somber, serious and penitential Catholic will want to quote a girl who does not smile in the photo.
There are other possible mistakes in the photos: use beach photos and bathing suits (which are very rare in winter), dressing oddly (covering or uncovering too much), bad lighting, bad framing, lying with photoshop and photo retouching, etc …
4- Your profile: Be yourself, but do not give your data
You are going to read perfect strangers, some very rare. Say your city, neighborhood or district, but not your street or floor. Use a pseudonym, or just your name without surnames. Explain your hobbies, but without specifying the associations or clubs you frequent, especially if they are small (you can say that you are a Barça or Real Madrid partner, it is not dangerous and maybe it will attract or drive you the right people).
Be yourself: Do not tell lies, do not boast about studies, hobbies or interests you do not have. It is better not to marry than to build false relationships on sand .
Be honest in explaining what you are looking for, but do not strip your soul of your past wounds on the Internet. Do not post your Facebook, Twitter, e-mail, phone, postcard … If a potential partner asks you for an e-mail, create one for these contacts only, one you do not mind losing . If someone wants to send you a physical gift and asks for a postal address, reject it. Physical gifts are meant to deliver into people those who know each other.
5- When paying: better prepaid cards; Beware of “free”
Not all online sites allow this, but it is better to use prepaid cards than to hire online payment sites that may be dubious and difficult to cancel.
There are also free online sites, full of apps advertising for your mobile…and links to rare and dangerous sites. Do not download or squeeze “download” anywhere you do not know what it does.
6- Your attitude on the dating site: Be proactive and positive
If your profile seems abandoned and you do not participate much in the dating site, you are likely to go unnoticed and appear to be an outdated or false profile. You have to see behind a deluded and exciting person. It is good that you participate in the chats, contests, meetings, etc… of the site.
Have a positive, hopeful and optimistic attitude, and attract people, which is what you want. As we also look for a Christian couple, it shows that you have faith, hope and charity, three fruits of the Holy Spirit.
7- Before sending a message to someone…read your profile well! And think what you say.
We have already said that 80% of what catches the eye is the photo … Some people see a photo that they like and then send a message to contact. That is a mistake: you have to read the profile, know the hobbies and interests, what the person expresses, and in the message to contact her demonstrate that it has been read. The contact message can not just be: “Hello, shall we?” People are wary of such one-line messages, and for good reason.
Instead, a good message shows that the profile has been read and that has aroused interest. For example, this is a good first message: “Hello Jose; I am Alicia; I’ve seen on your profile that you like Western movies. Me too. But only old classic quotes. What do you think of the most modern films? “Such a message shows that it is true that they have a common interest.
8- The first date: it is to see who you already know!
The step of meeting face to face with a person contacted on this dating website should be given when you already know much about the person. You know his hobbies, his age (even approximate), he has answered many questions without rare evasive, also has shown a reasonable interest for you.
Ask a lot of questions before you leave is good and necessary. If it is a place for Christians who are looking for a Christian couple, it should have been able to talk about their faith and their devotions and their Christian formation.
When staying with this person, do not give him a cell phone or contact phone: agree a site, time and way of recognizing. Let it be a public place and with people, of which it is easy to enter and leave and be seen. Tell someone you trust where you’re going and what time you expect to come back. Make sure you can get there and leave the place by your own means. Do not admit that the other person takes you in your vehicle. Do not take your: there are those who later blackmail them by threatening to report harassment or abuse unless paid. Make sure that the conditions of the appointment allow you to disappear without leaving a trace on that person’s radar if you wish.
9 – Beware of those who ask for money
If you contact someone (through the dating website or when you stay) who asks you for money with any excuse (“it’s for an NGO with whom I collaborate and I’ll see if you’re generous”) you may suspect that it is not clean wheat, it may be a scammer or a cheater. Another common scam is that they give you a strangely long phone number or with odd prefixes: it can be a payment number, and every time you call you they charge you a bundle. Avoid it.
Do not get discouraged!
All these tips seem to make the search for a couple online very complicated, but the truth is that in a few afternoons you can check and contact many more people “casaderas” than in years of trust in mere chance.
And both on the Internet and off the Internet, one can also turn to the traditional intercession of saints “seekers of the couple”, such as St. Anthony of Padua or St. Anne. As the Gospel says, “Ask and it will be given.”