Dream on: Finding The One

I often encounter the idea of ‘the one.’ Many believe that there is someone among the sea of people, predestined to be their romantic, life-long partner.

Don’t hate me if I find that hard to accept. I have fallen in-love several times already, but remain unmarried. Fine, let’s call me ‘single.’

It must have something to do with all the stories mass media is feeding us.

Recently, I came across this article in Refinery 29, by Maria del Russo. She said:

The idea of “knowing” is actually something that so many of us are taught from an early age. Romance novels and chick flicks have embedded the idea into our minds that once we find the person we’re meant to love forever and ever, we’ll be struck by some divine awareness. Some see it as a sweet, harmless platitude couples share about the beginning dates of their courtship. Those people are much less dramatic than I am.

Since I can’t have nice things, I used to take this statement as less of an idea and more as an inevitability. When I started dating, I looked for “the thunderbolt.” I’d sit on first dates with a man and scan myself, looking for clues of the “knowing” I was supposed to feel. Were those butterflies I was feeling? We both loved emo music from the early aughts — that had to mean something, right? From a logical standpoint, I’ve yet to get married, so I haven’t actually known yet — right?

It is so hard to wrap my head around having a predestined partner. Isn’t it our decisions and actions that land us a partner? I agree so much with the post. It sounds fake to say that you knew she was the one right from the start.

I believe it is up to us to be or not to be in a relationship and stick to one. We choose the one we want to spend the rest of our lives with.

What do you think?