You’ve heard about people being in a relationship or dates just because they share so many things in common – the love for sports, movies, fitness and food. How about meeting someone who you have so many dislikes in common? Now, that’s a first. A new dating app, Hater, which was founded by Brendan Alper, helps you find the love of your life by focusing not only on what you share in common but what you despise too.
Sharing common interests, hobbies and likes with someone is indeed a ground for romance. However, people seldom take into consideration the things you don’t like. What if the only thing you love is his ultimate nemesis or hate? That’s when things would probably slide downhill. Thus, it’s important to know the things your potential partner like and hate, so you can see if it’s truly meant to be or not.
Hater requires a deeper investment than an app like Tinder. It’s a more thoughtful process that asks you to swipe on ideas that define you, not just someone’s face. You’re looking at loves and hates, curating your own, messaging with matches. Alper’s explanation of the swiping system has a lot to do with his own online dating experiences. He vents frustrations about current dating apps, where you swipe with someone and then have nothing to talk about. He recalls doing his best with clever one-liners “that sounded totally canned and fake, and really told me nothing about that person.”
Hater feeds you things to talk about. Once you’ve matched with someone, you have access to the full list of things they’ve swiped on. In a private message, you can continue toss out fill-in-the-blank-type cards directly to them. “What’s the worst thing ever?” “I love you like Kanye loves _____?”
On a superficial level, the app holds your hand and stops you from opening with a dreaded and dull “hey.” More importantly, it asks some of the awkward questions for you in advance. Are you pro or anti-abortion? It’s an answer that could be crucial to your relationship, but prickly to bring up on a first date.
But the app’s real strength is a cultural literacy that its competition lacks. A person can tell you that they identify as Republican or Democrat, religious or not, but that only provides a surface-level understanding of what values they might hold. And such reductive labels encourage people to judge off stereotypes and assumptions rather than complexity and depth. Hater’s inclusion of references like “locker room talk” removes the gray area. It’s a specific, loaded phrase that challenges you to clearly state where you stand.
“What are the things that Trump supporters love, and what are the things that Hillary supporters love?” Alper says of results the app has turned up so far. “The conclusion, the thing that was universally loved — pretty much the only thing — was guacamole. Other than that, there’s not a ton of similarities.”
Hater includes its share of heavy ideas, but there’s a lighter side to it as well. Alper wanted to offer users a chance to let their sense of humor shine. There’s a kind of comedy to liking things that are considered peculiar, like eating until you hurt, or explaining why you’re so deeply in love with bees. He says this sort of personality gets lost in newer dating apps, and points to sites like OKCupid or Match.com. “They did a pretty good job at putting personality first,” he says. “You were able to filter out the people that you knew you wouldn’t get along with and find some of the people who are more similar to you.”
Love comes in all shapes and sizes. According to the Verge, to be able to click with someone, even if you share nothing similar at all, is your willingness to embrace his or her imperfections, dislikes, and all negatives, and accept him or her without hesitations. Though this app brings people closer romantically over the things they hate, it’s still up to the users if they’d consider this a major factor in making a relationship work out. If you want to learn more about the article, you can check https://www.theverge.com/2017/2/14/14597386/hater-dating-app-shared-dislikes-match-tinder.